Tidak kuat lagi.

Dulu, mungkin saya boleh stay up sampai pukul 3 pagi dan bangun seawal subuh. Hampir setaip hari.

Sekarang, masih boleh, tetapi bila masuk hari 5, saya jatuh demam. Seperti sekarang. Sat for 2 papers, so far Alhamdulillah. Please give me A's for that. I need them a lot. Last semester's result was terrible.

But, itulah, mungkin saya sudah tua, mungkin sudah lama tidak pergi work-out. Senang jatuh sakit, penat sikit demam. Ye lah, have to face the fact that I am not as strong as I used to be. But still I have to force myself. If it is not me then who else will do for me?

Please, do this for the sake of my parents.

F*ck!

I don't intend to swear. Well I used to swear a lot. But it all happened with this one particular incident 2 years back when I decided to stop swearing. (but once in a while of course unintentionally slipped out from my mouth).

I went to study somewhere out of my house after lunch since I couldn't concentrate anymore and my brain couldn't absorb anything further. So I went to my favourate usual place alone since the other half is in Singapore (I have the longest day today).

I did my reading alone, serenely until this one particular tudung girl with short sleeved t-shirt came in, ordered a caremel frap and joined her chinese friend who is an iBook user. And she uses Dell. (well this is no important point here, just to describe the situation). It was freezing cold inside there but melting hot outside, so I was left with no choice but to stay inside and get all fidgety. The annoying part was, the tudung girl was speaking so loud (as usual la, that explains why prayer rooms are always noisy), I can actually hear every story she was telling in detailed. I wish I could join her (hye! Im your new friend, I know what problems you are facing now!).

The thing that bothered me was she mentioned "f*uck" in almost every sentences. It reminds me of my past how I used to swear a lot. But I didn't get all annoyed by that actually except for the fact that her volume was quite loud for a calm place like that. Hearing her saying f*ck in every sentence sounds kind of cool though. Hahaha.

f*ck fu*ck fc%k @#%&%$!

Maybe I should get back to that.

Nyehhh. No I won't.

Knowing that I've hurt a soul last time by just swearing. I didn't know that it would cause so much pain which is kind of hard to forgive. Luckily I managed to refrain myself from keep doing it.

p/s: because of that girl, I had to study management with my ears plugged. Eavesdropping is no good.

It reads my heart.

“... joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”

-Kahlil Gibran

I've been trying to ignore my feelings, but I am no superwoman. Let's just ignore again and wait. Next time when the world is turning its back on you, then you are always welcome my friend. Always.

Sisters in Pink!

our faces might be in the same features becuase this is in Terengganu. I came 100 percently from there remember?

Why do I like pink? Since school, I can be said as one of those girls yang suka kumpul barang-barang in pink. I don't care though some people might say pink is so girly and mengada-ngada or bimbo you name it. It is not wrong right to idenitfy what you like and not hiding about it.

Since I was a kid, my mum always buy me stuffs in pink whenever she went outstation. Mine in pink and my sister's in blue. But dari dulu lagi, my sister and I suka fight and berebut. Pernah sekali our hairs were pulled by Ayah due to unstoppable fights and berlawan-lawan cakap. Akhir sekali saya menangis and my sister diam. Those were the days. Even though our age gap is 7 years, our parents still beli barang yang sama for both of us. Because nanti gaduh. What I have she has, and what she has I don't really have, because most of the time, saya dapat second hand stuff from her.

Dulu, our parents thought that I like pink and she prefers blue. Tapi sebenarnya, she has turned into liking pink since I don't know when. So now, if I want to buy her stuff (which is jarang la kut, sebab she's an engineer who can afford to buy her own stuff), I will buy something in pink. Sama pun biarlah. Dari dulu lagi kami pakai barang yang sama.

She was my idol back in primary school. Seeing her while I was growing up, what she did back then was something that I must follow. She's smart, UPSR dia straight, PMR dia straight, SPM dia pun banyak A's. Bila lihat kembali, I got straight A's too but SPM sedikit kecundang la. And she's attractive too. When she entered Sri Aman , memang apa yang dia buat semua cool. Except bila dia tukar masuk MRSM Terendak, dia sudah kurang cool. I wanted to enter MRSM too since I got straight A's fro my PMR but mum did not let me because I was having some health problem which shouldn't be disclose here kerana sangat memalukan.

Basically we have been growing up in a same pattern just that Faiza is naughtier, rebellious and independant version of her.

Back to the liking of pink, now both of us like pink, just that saya lebih suka the one yang lebih striking and she likes something softer. Ye lah, saya kan berani sikit. But as we grew up, now my sister is the one who likes to follow what I wear such as clothes, style, shades, bags etc. Cuma selalunya aku yang sakit hati, sebab since I am just a student, I will buy cheap stuffs but she will buy my dream stuffs. Disebabkan badan saya yang kecik dan sekeping, I can never borrow her clothes.

She's my one and only sister, and I am glad of the similiarities that we have been sharing.

p/s: not into pink anymore but still anything in pink will look better!

Dia sudah bertunang la!

Today, marked one of the important events happened this year. My studymate (Yan) is engaged. Mind you, she is 21, and I am defeated by that. Hahah! Well to her, her parents might not be worrying about anything because she's a smart a*s. She doesn't have to study hard in achieving excellent results, unlike me, I have to study really hard, or else I will end up being a loser.

I am really hapy for her, and I hope this is the right decision. I am very proud knowing someone who is younger than myself making a big decision like this. kikiki. Saya mungkin masih belajar tentang diri sendiri dan masih lagi mencari-cari sambil belajar tentang apa erti hidup.



I know, I've met the one who has everything that I've been wanting, and we do have many similiarities with some minor contradictions, but still, I am on my learning process.

***

I admit I have been cranky on my way to classes these lately. The fact that students are lack of courtesy. Somehow I wonder, is it really hard to give ways to girls, hold the door for friends or strangers instead of banging the door right on the face? To reach classes, I have to queue oh wait, queue is not the right word, maybe "berkerumun" is the right word, and it can be really frustrating that most of the students will not queue but they push themselves inside the elevator without considering those who came earlier. #*%&*!

Ok. Apa sedang aku bebelkan ini? Tidak mengapa. Lets not be like them. Morons.

p/s: Soon when I have the time, I will change this layout. Faiza? Black? It doesn't rhyme. Saya sendiri rasa sedikit janggal dengan warna ini.

zzzZZzz

I am sleep deprived!

This whole week has been a tough week for me. Tests and assignments submission. Bluergh. I do look like a walking zombie right now. Final examination is next week! Scary. Wish me luck people.

5 minutes off.

Snap!

I am taking 5 minutes off. There will be a quiz tomorrow which doesn't sound like a quiz after all. Well, sorry for deleting my previous posts. Firstly, it was nothing personal really. I just want to get rid of certain entries.(huh?) But really. I just think that certain entries shouldn't be there. Certain pictures should be removed, and those explosive ones too, shouldn't be there.

I am really sorry. That was really immature of me blogging on my anger and letting the whole world informed about that. Problems should be solved personally right? Rather than letting it out here.

Secondly, I just think that my grammar is getting bad. Sudah lama tidak membaca buku. Majalah-majalah apatah lagi. Even my vocabs are bad too.

Thirdly, I just want to get rid of certain pictures. Malas sungguh mahu lihat satu-persatu. Time consuming, I'd rather delete everything.

Lastly, mungkin saya sedang sibuk belajar dan juga bercinta. Hihihihi.

Malas mahu fikir.

I've just erased my past.

nyehhh