Bukan tak suka.

Mak selalu tegur, mengapa rakan-rakan saya lebih ramai tak bertudung sedangkan saya bertudung? Bukan tiada langsung, ada la, cuma tak ramai, maybe because of where I went for my secondary school. Bukan kurang gemar mereka yang bertudung, cuma ada beberapa perkara yang buat saya ada some distance with them.

1. Mereka suka jaga tepi kain orang. Just concentrate on your life will you? Kita sebok-sebok nak tahu or talk about oher people walhal other people don't talk about us at all pun. Seriously, there is more to life.
2. Mereka terlampau berkias. Macam nak korek cerita pun mengapa mesti pakai bahasa tersirat? Just say something straight to the point la.
3. They like to look at people from up to toe. Ye kadang-kadang orang lain pun stylo juga, bukan kau sorang aje.
4. Meraka suka buat bising dalam surau. Talk to their friends as if they are the only one with friends and issues.
5. Some of them don't perform their prayers pun. Orang yang merokok pun sembahyang tahu tak? Lepas tu nak pandang-pandang slack kat smokers, merokok lebih baik dari mengumpat tahu tak? (ok ini agak bodoh la)
6. Mereka suka baca novel-novel cinta which bahasa rojak, nama nak best aja walhal tiada apa-apa yang boleh change their lives kecuali keep on berangan. You know, a good book will be able to change a life or a view on life.
7. Some of them are boyfriend stealers. Beware.
8. Mereka berlagak baik dan sweet. Padahal belakang taktau lah.
9. Mereka juga suka tengok orang tengah bersiap lepas sembahyang. Jangan pandang boleh? Nak tiru la tuh!
10. When it comes to hygene, they don't really take care of it. Just smell their heads. And you will know.

Tapi tak semua orang macam itu.

Bukan tak suka, ada yang baik semestinya, just most of the time macam tuh. If tak agree diam aja, sebab this is just my view and I have my bad sides too.

No more liar liar pants on fire.

I was about to type the title as changes in season but I think it is not very suitable for the content that I am about to blog about. I would like to blog on changes; well peeople changed. Be it for better or for worse. You see, I changed too. A lot.

Last time, I used to be so secretive. Especially with my mother. I have no idea why I was hiding. Finally I realized that, there is nothing to hide about. (but kadang-kadang problems terpaksa simpan sebab mak saya punya solution kurang menyenangkan). I had to lie to hide. And it was stupid I know. I am glad that things have changed. I've been telling my mother every single thing, I don't lie anymore. I report to her everyday. And it feels so good to actually tell my mum about everything. (lagi best bila boleh mention nama Zaakir/Zack terang-terang).

I know, mothers; they will give the worst advice as a friend but the best advice as a mother. Sometimes and MOST of the time, her advices will not be something that I expect to hear. Maybe that's the whole point of being a mother cum advisor cum pencetus kemarahan. But at the end of the day, by listening to her advice and nags, things will turn out good.

I asked my mum's opinion before things get more serious between my other half and me. Just to make sure that she will like my choice, kerana restu itu sangat penting. So Alhamdulillah, she has approved.

But once in a while, I do lie to her when it comes to money. Hihihi. I always lie that I have money even though ada beberapa ringgit aje, sebab malu nak mintak duit.

It is just that, things have changed. A lot. Yeah, I might come home late around 12 am almost every night dengan baju berbau asap rokok. And the next morning I will tahan myself listening to her painful nags which might caused me to cry once in while. But in the end she will feel bad because I will bodek by doing house chores. Dulu sangat suka menjawab. Pantang dimarah terus jawab. If it was a written essay, I bet the whole book is insufficient. I am glad that I have my aunties who will rub my back when ever my mum nags at me by saying "Sabar Ijah..sabar..jgn menjawab". I am glad that I have them. If it is not because of them, I will not changed.

The thing about mothers is, their words might be painful most of the time, but it will be a good thing. Be it in long-term or short-term. Let the time decides for you. Just like remedies, they are bitter but they will heal the pain inside.

Mothers=remedies.

Aunties= cheerleaders.

That's why we are in a family!

Ok, aku merepek di sini.

Scared.

This is a bit too early for me to feel this way. But I've been thinking about it, worrying about it everyday now. And because of that, I've started printing past years' questions and finding books for the coming subjects. I know, I have been saying this everytime a semester ends but this time, I have to keep my words.

I was unable to complete 2 major financial accounting paper's questions. Which is something that is quite bad. It was a total humiliation to me. Not only that paper but also happened to another 2 subjects. When I was about to give up in the exam hall I said to myself "Don't be a sore loser Faiza. Don't be" So I tried and tembak. But if we depend on tembak in exam hall, how long tembak-tembak shoot shoot will guarantee your victory?

I am still scared by the way. Scared to face the fact that I have to resit any papers. Argh!!

Why I hate holidays.

Kerana sumber kewangan agak terhad. Noktah.

****
So far, semester break has been good. Kalau tengah banyak pitis lagi bagus boleh road trip. By the way, I don't really have anything interesting stuff to blog about. Just some frustration with something which is my handphone. I always this problem when it comes to handphone/gadgets and water. Last week, we went to Pavilion and it was raining heavily. Jadi kami berlari-lari anak ke BB Plaza since Afiq parked his car there. Tengah lari memang sangat terbaik handphone jatuh dalam hujan. Jadi salah satu handphone rosak.

Jadi, bila diingat kembali, sudah banyak gadgets yang rosak because of water. My first Sony T1 digicam rosak during hujan lebat in Arau, and my handphone at that time pun sama, then motorola rosak tumpah sup, then another handphone pun rosak tertumpah orange juice and to conclude, be it handphone mahal or murah, akan rosak sebab air.

So, lepas ini pakai handphone cikai lagi senang. Kan? Rosak pun tak sakit hati sangat.

For the most wonderful person.

To my bestfriend, Reena Suriani!

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful and greatest person I've ever known. Hope you will have a great celebration this year, and may all your wishes and dreams come true.

Thank you for being such a great, sincere friend. You are not just a good friend, but you are a best friend of mine, apart from that, you have never failed in being such a good daughter to both of your lovely parents, a great sister to your "chaotic"(joking!) siblings, a wonderful girlfriend to Faiz and not to forget, a wonderful friend to us too!

Happy Birthday Reena dearie. May Allah s.w.t merahmati anda kerana orang baik seperti anda selalu disayangi Allah s.w.t.

Hello earthlings.

Hello there earthlings! My holiday has just started. Though I am not feeling good because of my accounting paper, but I should just live the life and if anything goes beyond my expectations, I will just accept it.

So yesterday was good. Went dinner with family after exam.

Today will be good and so as tomorrow. I have so many things planned in my head.

To do list:
Kemas bilik. If boleh cat sekali.
Kemas rumah. Polish furniture, lap sana lap sini.
Read more books.
Travel jalan-jalan with COTY. (Fifi Afiq)
Print all past years' questions for next semester's subject. (ini dah berapa kali punya azam ni)
Take more pictures.
Exercise more. Pergi jogging balik. Perut dah ada sikit. Thighs are bigger.Macam malu.

Oh well, things have been good so far walaupun exam. I feel good when I ignored certain stuff. Not that I am being heartless, just that I'd rather ignore than learning about small things that I will not understand why it happened. It's not that I don't appreciate, tah! certain things are better left unsaid. Like I said in the previous entry, I don't need to disclose my problems and and let the whole world informed about it. I might hurt anyone if I do so right?

Going to enjoy my holidays yaw.

Ramalan bintang-bintang

Kamu percaya ramalan bintang-bintang? Saya tidak pernah percaya pun. Sebab Islam tidak galakkan. Tapi suka baca kerana kadang-kadang macam kebetulan.

Contoh:

Kami dua-dua kononnya berbintang Capricorn. Secara kebetulannya kami banyak persamaan. Jadi mahu percaya atau tidak? Lebih jangan percaya ramalan bintang-bintang ini. Untuk suka-suka boleh la.

Apa yang sama? Salah satunya adalah :
kami gentel telinga sebelum tidur.

Tapi orang-orang Capricorn agak semacam bukan? Semacam seperti kami lah.

My mistake.

I always wonder how my past has affected my present. Somehow I do regret of my past but mistakes are mistakes, they are done, became a history, and history has shaped me.

I just knew that my roomate back when I was in Asasi UM has just graduated for her Master's Degree. And currently she is preparing her application to continue with her Phd. How cool is that? Well not cool la, (macam kita buat sesuatu sebab nampak cool and different, so bukan cool) but more to like something which can make our parents proud and even ourselves proud. At the age of 23, dah sambung buat Phd. If I were her, my parents will have the widest smile!

She was in the same position as mine, took Sains Hayat, but she passed and I flung! Because I usually can't face the humiliation (macam besar sangat case ni), I decided not to repeat my matriculation but started things all over again.

I was really sad. I cried when I knew my results but yang terkejutnya, I thought my parents were about to scold me but they didn't.

I ALMOST applied for quantity surveying at Taylors. Since my parents were still working at that time so it wouldn't be much of a trouble to pay the expensive fees. But still, I was thinking twice because I was afraid if I don't manage to perform well, I'll be like one of those ungrateful kids.

When I was informed that Uitm intake was opened, I decided to just apply for Uitm even though since I was in school, tidak pernah terfikir pun mahu menuntut di situ. So I applied for courses that I like (something in Architecture field) but ended up in Accounting field which is totally not my cup of tea. Gave it a try and Alhamdulillah accounting isn't that bad after all. Knowing an accounting degree holder agak senang nak cari kerja (InsyaAllah), sampai sekarang pun masih menelan pahit manis benci accounting. Because I believe that we don't have to do things we like or enjoy just to survive. As long as we are sincere in things we do, Allah s.w.t will always help and guide us. So alhamdulillah.

Sepanjang my studying in accounting, I've been trying very hard not to repeat any subjects. It's like tidak mahu sejarah berulang lagi (seperti lagu newboys yang dulu selalu nyanyi ngan Has). What I did in Asasi is so unacceptable. When I look back on how I study, huk ela, patutlah failed. Main-main je lebih, Science isn't that hard and it is quite easy to score jika dibanding dengan belajar accounting yang sungguh memeningkan akal fikiran ini.

But still, I will pursue my Master's degree in the field of business.

During my practical training last year, I knew that accounting is quite suitable for me. Mungkin juga saya dah terbiasa kerja berat-berat dan kira duit (terima kasih bodyshop sebab beri saya pengalaman kerja semacam anjing dan kuli batak).

So back to the story, I know I shouldn't fret on my past mistake, but I realized that if it is not because of my mistake, I will not be like what I am today. Even though I am not doing something I really like, but at least I enjoy doing it, and I have a life and my life is not boring.

Masuk Uitm pun was not a mistake. Jika tidak masuk Uitm kat Arau sana tu, maybe I wouldn't have the opportunity to get to know friends all over Malaysia. Jika tidak saya mungkin akan bergaul dengan orang-orang Pj atau Kuala Lumpur sahaja. I am glad that I have different types of friends. They have made me into a better person. It's true like Sue Anna Joe stated in her blog saying that if dari sekolah sampai sekarang masih berkawan dalam kelompok yang sama, nampak sangat orang itu tidak pandai bergaul.

I'm glad. I am grateful. I am happy for who I am even though I don't have everything or less than a quater of material things that the world could offer me, I am glad that I am kampung too.

Basically, I am glad of what my mistakes done in the past. Because my mistakes have moulded me into who I am today.

Wed, war and when will I win?

Another Saturday. Relatives are here for my cousin's graduation. Another cousin is getting engaged Alhamdulillah. In other words ; nasik minyak and jamuan besar-besaran di kampung are on thier way! I've always love family weddings, well who doesn't? The only get-together where the whole relatives will be at one place, under one roof.

Oh well, Law paper yesterday was so-so. Pity Faiza she did not memorize all the cases but other questions turned out quite ok. I'm seeing the glass of milk as half empty now, not that I love being a pessimist, but I should stop hoping because it leads to frustration. I don't want to frown at the end of the day because frowning and fretting do no good to me. Oh ya, I should read more books. But time isn't allowing me to do so. As a replacement, I should take the Newsweek subscribed by my brother in-law just to feed my thirst for general knowledge as well as sharpen my vocabularies, but I think it'd be better for me to grab my accounting books.

Fine, perang mungkin bermula sekarang. Another 2 killer papers coming up. I just hope that I can do well though the possibility for me in doing so is quite blurry. I am being a pessimist again. Kita mesti cuba bukan? Jangan hanya merungut tapi yang penting kita mesti all-out.

(the wonderpet's song is in my head now)

It's funny to see girls around my age following the series and humming the theme song wherever they go. It is really ok to watch the series once in a while with your nephews/nieces/cousins but if the series are watched as if it is Heroes, GG, OTH and etc, what are they thinking?

**geleng kepala and faint!**

Mahu apa lagi?

Saya selalu rasa, bahawa saya terlampau banyak keinginan. Macam-macam keinginan. Tapi saya perlu tahu, saya bukan insan serba boleh. Dijadikan sebagai khalifah di muka bumi ini pun ada sebabnya bukan? Kita bukan hidup untuk bergembira sahaja. Tapi tidak salah untuk punyai keinginan dan harapan.

Kadang-kadang, saya harap sangat saya pandai melukis. I mean, drawing someone's face, scenery, animals and things like that. Or taking good pictures for example as well as good in editing. Bukan saya tak pandai melukis, cuma saya hanya pandai lukis lukisan-lukisan bodoh sahaja. Lagi seronok jika dapat pursue my studies in architecture, itulah, dulu dah dapat tapi tak pergi. Menyesal tak sudah. Jadi arkitek dalam angan-angan. They said, people who can't draw, do photography. Tapi itu nanti-nanti lah saya usahakan. Sebab photography tengah trend and it is the in-thing now. Jadi saya segan. Sebab nampak macam poyo.

Saya juga berharap sangat saya hot dan ramai orang nak kawan dengan saya. Bila hot, mungkin saya boleh selalu membuang masa di pub-pub eksklusif sambil banyak mata-mata yang memandang kerana mesmerized and awed by the hotness instead of pandang-pandang kerana pelik "apa budak hodoh ini buat di sini?".

Berharap juga, mempunyai otak yang bergeliga. Tak perlu lah saya bekerja keras untuk dapat 3.5 keatas untuk belajar accounting ini yang bukan saya punya pilihan hati tetapi pilihan market. Mengapa market? Mengapa saya sanggup buat? Kerana bagi saya, biarlah saya bersusah payah sekarang, buat sesuatu yang bukan saya suka tetapi, dengan ijazah accounting ini, saya senang nak cari kerja. Kerana iyelah, saya bukan golongan-golongan happening, mesti saya lebih suka kerja di pejabat dan mengadap computer. Saya nerd. Saya tahu, classmates saya juga kadang-kadang cakap saya ni terlampau rajin suka pergi library. Mungkin sebab cintahati tidak belajar di tempat yang sama. Jika tak, aku pun sama naik.

Selain itu, saya juga berharap yang saya ini kaya. Jika kaya, tak perlu bersusah payah nak kumpul duit beli sesuatu. Mintak sahaja kepada mak atau ayah. Kan senang. Bukan mak ayah saya orang susah, cuma saya tak suka mintak-mintak barang lalu menyusahkan mereka. Saya rasa kita sudah dewasa dan tahu menilai. Mereka sendiri bersusah-payah waktu muda to achieve the current living, I just think it is unfair to them if keep on spoiling ourselves. I think I have to do my part of learning about life to feel how it is like to live like the unfortunate ones. Kalau kaya, mungkin saya boleh membuang duit Pavilion, The Gardens dan pusat membeli-belah sewaktu dengannya. Kan seronok jika boleh beli-belah di Marc Jacobs ataupun segala baju-baju yang ada dalam In Style magazines. (tak main lah baca cleo,iklan je lebih tak cantik pula tu)

Agak bagus juga jika saya ini lebih suka duduk di rumah dan beribadat di samping meluangkan masa bersama keluarga. Sekarang saya sedar, keluarga saya sangat rapat dengan saya rupanya. Mereka bestfriends baru saya selain cintahati yang juga merupakan girlfriend, bestfriend, boyfirend, shopping friend, makan-makan friend, kamus, ensyclopedia dan semua lah.

Jadi sekarang mahu apa lagi? Biasalah, manusia tidak pernah cukup. Tapi sebenarnya saya sudah cukup bersyukur dengan apa yang saya ada. Lebih baik begini. Jika terlampau inginkan semua, baik tak payah hidup. Because a person is already rich if he/she knows how to live thier life and being thankful of what she/he has without craving for more.

Maaf jika banyak berbahasa melayu, biasalah, saya kan orang melayu, hidup cara melayu, makan nasi dan budu hari-hari, dan semuanya melayu lah. Kecuali saya bukan melayu malas.

p/s: Sebenarnya sebab grammar saya agak teruk semenjak tiga menjak ini. Dah lama tak membaca buku. Oleh itu, lebih baik berbahasa melayu agar tidak mengelirukan orang. Tak perlu ikut trend.

Let pictures do the talking 1

Exam mode. 3 papers to go. The last 3, agak membunuh. Kecuali Law.

I just need to absorb every law terms. Even though Law is not my languange, but as long as it is a reading subject, saya tidak akan membenci law.

But this subject left me with frustration. Argh! I'm just not good in Maths! Even though I am a lefty.

Come'on.

Actually I have nothing to blog about pun. Just to keep my mind away from studying statistics. Tired already. Been studying since morning. And currently I have no idea what I've studied. And I am really scared now.

Oh, I am thinking of selling off my camera! After a few open houses, saw almost everyone has the big and chunky camera, it's like trend now. Not for the interest. And after this gadget apa lagi yang akan menjadi kegilaan? Psp? Apple's stuff?

We can know it's an interest or a trend by just observing kedai camera. If kedai camera banyak school kids, then it is a trend yaw. No offense. But I think everyone knows about this right?