My mistake.

I always wonder how my past has affected my present. Somehow I do regret of my past but mistakes are mistakes, they are done, became a history, and history has shaped me.

I just knew that my roomate back when I was in Asasi UM has just graduated for her Master's Degree. And currently she is preparing her application to continue with her Phd. How cool is that? Well not cool la, (macam kita buat sesuatu sebab nampak cool and different, so bukan cool) but more to like something which can make our parents proud and even ourselves proud. At the age of 23, dah sambung buat Phd. If I were her, my parents will have the widest smile!

She was in the same position as mine, took Sains Hayat, but she passed and I flung! Because I usually can't face the humiliation (macam besar sangat case ni), I decided not to repeat my matriculation but started things all over again.

I was really sad. I cried when I knew my results but yang terkejutnya, I thought my parents were about to scold me but they didn't.

I ALMOST applied for quantity surveying at Taylors. Since my parents were still working at that time so it wouldn't be much of a trouble to pay the expensive fees. But still, I was thinking twice because I was afraid if I don't manage to perform well, I'll be like one of those ungrateful kids.

When I was informed that Uitm intake was opened, I decided to just apply for Uitm even though since I was in school, tidak pernah terfikir pun mahu menuntut di situ. So I applied for courses that I like (something in Architecture field) but ended up in Accounting field which is totally not my cup of tea. Gave it a try and Alhamdulillah accounting isn't that bad after all. Knowing an accounting degree holder agak senang nak cari kerja (InsyaAllah), sampai sekarang pun masih menelan pahit manis benci accounting. Because I believe that we don't have to do things we like or enjoy just to survive. As long as we are sincere in things we do, Allah s.w.t will always help and guide us. So alhamdulillah.

Sepanjang my studying in accounting, I've been trying very hard not to repeat any subjects. It's like tidak mahu sejarah berulang lagi (seperti lagu newboys yang dulu selalu nyanyi ngan Has). What I did in Asasi is so unacceptable. When I look back on how I study, huk ela, patutlah failed. Main-main je lebih, Science isn't that hard and it is quite easy to score jika dibanding dengan belajar accounting yang sungguh memeningkan akal fikiran ini.

But still, I will pursue my Master's degree in the field of business.

During my practical training last year, I knew that accounting is quite suitable for me. Mungkin juga saya dah terbiasa kerja berat-berat dan kira duit (terima kasih bodyshop sebab beri saya pengalaman kerja semacam anjing dan kuli batak).

So back to the story, I know I shouldn't fret on my past mistake, but I realized that if it is not because of my mistake, I will not be like what I am today. Even though I am not doing something I really like, but at least I enjoy doing it, and I have a life and my life is not boring.

Masuk Uitm pun was not a mistake. Jika tidak masuk Uitm kat Arau sana tu, maybe I wouldn't have the opportunity to get to know friends all over Malaysia. Jika tidak saya mungkin akan bergaul dengan orang-orang Pj atau Kuala Lumpur sahaja. I am glad that I have different types of friends. They have made me into a better person. It's true like Sue Anna Joe stated in her blog saying that if dari sekolah sampai sekarang masih berkawan dalam kelompok yang sama, nampak sangat orang itu tidak pandai bergaul.

I'm glad. I am grateful. I am happy for who I am even though I don't have everything or less than a quater of material things that the world could offer me, I am glad that I am kampung too.

Basically, I am glad of what my mistakes done in the past. Because my mistakes have moulded me into who I am today.